If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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