i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
