remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
