my mouth tastes like poor choices
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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