I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
