I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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