found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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