Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
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