do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Dicks are not precious.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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