I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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