A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
