Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
