Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Randomize
