the new term for farting is butt boxing.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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