You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
