hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
