how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
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