these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
