You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize
