I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
