New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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