I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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