someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Randomize
