hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
i love accidental penises.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
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