we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
