8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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