We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
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We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
He? As in you personified your dick?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
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