What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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