I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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