I can't breathe out the right side of my face
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
handjob tips. give me some.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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