Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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