somebody snuck up and got me drunk
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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