I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I have feelings that need drinking.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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