Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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