so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
