Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
