Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
