If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
