It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I met the friendliest cop last night
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.