Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
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