Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(970): View more from Colorado

Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad

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(970): Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad http://tfl.nu/podg

Replies (3) Good night (1356) Bad night (704)
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.

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(918): After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again. http://tfl.nu/cy0p

Replies (141) Good night (575) Bad night (6162)
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(847): View more from Illinois

I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.

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(847): I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning. http://tfl.nu/5xxn

Replies (20) Good night (3610) Bad night (1155)
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(606): View more from Kentucky

I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.

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(606): I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified. http://tfl.nu/k6t4

Replies (15) Good night (5634) Bad night (1485)
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(210): View more from Texas

I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job

(917): View more from New York City

You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.

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(210): I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job (917): You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth. http://tfl.nu/dvgd

Replies (15) Good night (5884) Bad night (1067)
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(816): View more from Missouri

Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work

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(816): Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work http://tfl.nu/ppy0

Replies (16) Good night (1697) Bad night (3694)
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(301): View more from Maryland

There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting

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(301): There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting http://tfl.nu/c2mi

Replies (5) Good night (2471) Bad night (1236)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?

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(402): We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR? http://tfl.nu/06jo

Replies (1) Good night (956) Bad night (582)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect

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(814): Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect http://tfl.nu/4whi

Replies (4) Good night (5384) Bad night (902)
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(716): View more from New York

Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.

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(716): Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan. http://tfl.nu/rfh9

Replies (4) Good night (1831) Bad night (708)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me

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(402): Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me http://tfl.nu/m5ly

Replies (7) Good night (825) Bad night (2285)
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(719): View more from Colorado

Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?

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(719): Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I? http://tfl.nu/9iuq

Replies (7) Good night (543) Bad night (1726)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.

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(412): About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits. http://tfl.nu/4vnm

Replies (7) Good night (2754) Bad night (530)
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(408): View more from California

its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat

(1-408): View more from California

your picture is with misty too!!

(408): View more from California

I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE

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(408): its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat (1-408): your picture is with misty too!! (408): I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE http://tfl.nu/688p

Replies (1) Good night (682) Bad night (254)
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(940): View more from Texas

Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.

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(940): Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night. http://tfl.nu/76za

Replies (2) Good night (655) Bad night (269)

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