she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
