brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.