just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
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It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
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This is John, I met you downtown last night.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.