butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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