would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
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Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
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It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I did not marry a roomba.
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