How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
