WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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