Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize