You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
