everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
3 2 1 whiskey
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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