Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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