I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
just tell him i said nine months
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize