I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Randomize
