Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
