Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
