he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
