She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
