i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize