i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
