is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I want to fling myself into the sun
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
