Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
