I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
