i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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