some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
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