im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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